Cannot help myself but re-read my old posts everytime i go to this blog thing. And i be like, seriously? you wrote this? oh em gee. that's why all my blog posts got deleted before. but now, it feels quite a regret, because that was part of my memories. even the bad ones, which sometimes you do not want to remember. So, currently, i'm just lazying around when in fact i have a lot of things to do. let just give me a chance to relax after i'm struggling to finish all those slides in just a short time. yess exam kills students. i just wanna get a good pointer after this. i mean my pointer during foundation is quite bad cz i was not so serious in studying. so, maybe that's why i think i should do my best. and i was grateful for my result during last semester. it was good. so why not i try to maintain good results ( i swear it's hard) . last one month during last semester was a real struggle. my sleeping pattern and eating schedule was such a really mess. it was lifeless and bad way to study. just imagine you need to cramp all those lecture notes in short time because you do not study during early semester. and now, i'm already in half of my semester two. time sure flies. but one thing is, i will take a short semester when everyone else will get holiday for three months. terpaksa okay, not because i really want.
all my posts are just random, or should i say i write when i feel sad? kind of. so, basically, there was a time, last week, i told someone about my feelings. my real feelings why i got sad and etc. trust me i'm not an easy person to tell anyone what i feel,angry,happy or sad. seriously. i dont share because i dont trust. but idk it was just so sudden. my fingers were so fast typing and click. send. words after words. it took me a really long time to tell. after my high school ends. i also cannot believe myself that i could be this kind of person who keep all things inside. trust me it's up to no good. maybe i know that this person was and will always be there for me. but after i got replies, i feel so terharu and all. i did not expect i would get those replies after i tell all about my flaws, what i'm embarrassed most to tell people. i thought this person would be judgemental of me for a while but what i got emotional the most was when the replies make me feel i'm valuable. yknow maybe it's hard to find this kind of person anymore in my next future. it's possible, but one in thousands.
so, here is the one. the upper picture was when we were fourteen and the other one when we were eighteen? or nineteen. no i'm not being sweet but at least i know that there's someone who still there, and if one day, we turn to strangers, at least i know that we once created memories together. i know she did not read this but oh well, i just feel want to post about this. when she knew, i'm just shy and introvert, but still, she said that i'm one of the truly friends. i dont deserve this. T_T (literally crying)
maybe we rarely do not text each other, but trust me, i don't forget people easily. i mean, how can you throw ppl away?
p/s: my photos actually are scattering everywhere, so idk if i got other photos of me and her beside these.
so yeah, that's all. *sending loves to this person* even i know, i still cannot love myself to the fullest.
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