currently, it is in the middle of night. it's already February *crying* and to be precise, i already left the twenty year old me. dah doploh satuuu huhuhu. i want to write a post a long time ago but yea so lazy. lagipun it's not my routine or what. just a random thing to do. so here i am, on my last night at home. tomorrow i'll go back to Kuantan for new semester and i am pretty sure it'll be more tough and challenging. btw what the heck why i'm typing in this dark room. i know it's not good for my eye tapi takpelah dh mmg rabun pun huhu. erm this holiday is quite fun because my siblings are at home so tkdelah rse sunyi sngt mcm sblum ni. yeah i am grateful to have siblings because without them, i'm just nothing. quarrels are normal, that's how siblings work kan. my personal life is not that awesome and i'm not telling any of it here because i just dont want to. even though sometimes i can be quite ungratefu, yknow that feeling of why my life is like this and not like that yada yada, but after that i'll be regret for feeling that way. it just that i already have almost everything in life (yeah mmg ade benda dlm hidup yg kita x dpt kan) but to have a shelter, food, clothes, clean water, good health, car, parents that support my financial and everythingg that maybe for us they are that common. but when i think it carefully, Allahu nikmat manakah yang kamu dustakan. i just need to study hard that's all tapi tu pun punyelah payah.
so on that day, when i went out with two of my hs friends, we went to masjid ladang for Zohor prayer. When i was about to wear my tudung, there was this one makcik (or should i call it kak)bcs she's not that old, bertubuh gempal and there this one boy who was sleeping on the carpet beside her. adee plaster kt kanan kiri kepala that boy (wait is it called plaster?! yknow that thing for headache).
whatever. so i thought oh maybe anak dia demam kot. then she randomly talked to me about her child. guess what, her child is suffering from brain cancer. stage three, and he is only 4 years old for goodness sake. and that brain cancer affected his saraf mata, tulang belakang and this one saraf i forgot. and because of that, he cannot see, cannot walk....sngt kesiannn TT
lagi payah, makcik tu is from Kemaman and i asked her, dh ulang alik ke dri kemaman ke hospital. she said yes. naik basss and she said the fare ditanggung oleh ape ntah i cannot hear her properly at that time. so at that time, she just sit in the mosque because her bus was at 8 pm. can u just imagine doing nothing all the day, just to wait for the bus. i just cant imagine how hard her life would be. she's a single mother with 7 children. yng paling tua form three and the one that have cancer is the youngest. all of her children are so young and i cant imagine how she raised all her kids alone without husband. Plus, she have a cancer child that must be so hard.
her story made me feel i'm such an ungrateful person all this while. sesusah mane pun kite, fikirlah ade lagi org yg lagi susah dri kita. i hope she will stay strong and i hope her kid will be strong too.
her story made me think, Allah is so kind toward me. He gives me everything in this life even though i fail to be a good slave to Him.
May we become a better person from time to time ameen.
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